Migawari Hakushaku to Himitsu no Nikki
'Vicarious Victim Earl and Secret Diary' sic
The Stand-In Count and the Secret Diary
by: Seike Mimori
This is my Observation Diary of Mireille.
Not to be read by anyone but myself.
--Frederick
March 9th
I'm very excited.
Richard is finally going to Rizeland to get Mireille. The time has finally come for their fateful meeting. I'm sure fireworks will fly, yet I won't be able to be there. I'm the most unfortunate person in the world. If only I could be there, I'd be able to observe the two minutely and write down every last detail and chuckle about things afterward.
Ahh, things are finally about to begin.
Their sweet and passionate story of true love--!
April 3rd
Today, I saw Mireille while disguised as a female attendant.
Well, I must admit, I was so impressed I was almost overwhelmed. I didn't expect dressing as a guy would suit her so much......
Honestly, she looked just like me and was so stunning. Not having much of a chest just doesn't seem that important anymore. She should realise what makes her attractive. Not accepting it would be a great sin against all creation.
I'm glad to see that she and Richard seem to be getting along well. I couldn't help grinning as I watched them from nearby, but unfortunately, she didn't notice me at all. That made me feel so sad......
Jun 22nd
It seems Mireille's become serious.
Apparently, Rudy's insults really struck home. She looked like she was going to strangle me to death when she demanded to know, "How do I use the tortoise shell?!" It set my heart racing.
Unfortunately, I got so excited that, rather than telling her the instructions the man at the market gave, I ended up telling her something else.
I told her, "Apparently, all you need to do is sleep with the shell every night!"
I simply wasn't thinking. That's the ritual for a curse from an old kingdom in the south. Why am I so careless?
When I peeked in her room later, Mireille looked nervous as she carried the tortoise shell to her bed and seriously slept with it.
Mireille's so cute when she's trying so hard.
But Richard seems to prefer a more modest bust rather than large-busted women, so I don't think she needs to worry so much.
August 8th
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who's the most handsome man of them all?
......it's foolish to even ask. The answer's obviously me.
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest of them all?
--Why Count, that would be your younger sister who has the exact same face as you.
Hahah...... No doubt, eh?
That us twins were born so blessed by the the goddess of beauty - it's such a great sin. Nobody can deny that!
Oct 31st
Right now, father is vehemently lecturing Richard behind me. I wonder if I should stop him.
Also, I wonder why Mireille is fast asleep in my bed? Perhaps she couldn't bring herself to say she wanted to sleep together and decided to force the issue and come in uninvited.
Really, even though she's 17, she still wants to be spoiled. She's so cute I can't stop myself from smiling.
She only ever talks about food in her sleep, looks so childlike as she drools in her sleep, and is an incredibly restless sleeper, but even with all that, I love her so much!
Nov 6th
I snuck into Richard's room and slipped those things into his bags of sweets.
I have to admit I was surprised. Just how many bags of sweets has he bought for Mireille...... On a quick count, there were at least eight of them.
He himself never eats sweets, but lately, whenever he finds time, he's checking out various pastry and candy shops. That's so sweet.
Come to think of it, Richard came back while I was still sneaking around in his room, but he didn't get upset. When I said, "I'm playing Hide 'n Seek", his expression didn't change as he hid me in his closet. He really is such a nice guy.
In any case, I managed to sneak into the bags something to 1) help increase her bust, 2) increase sex appeal, and 3) suddenly make her want to kiss.
It would be wonderful if Richard ends up helping alleviate her lacking figure, so I'll pray for that and write that for today's diary entry.
Oh my, I'm getting excited just thinking about it. I can't stop grinning!
*****
"What's with this perverted diary?!"
A tense shout echoed through the salon.
Fred's eyes widened when he saw what his younger sister was holding. She looked pale as she shook.
"Ah! That's so mean. Reading someone's diary in secret."
Her brother didn't show the least bit of concern at having his diary read as he protested mildly. Mireille grabbed her brother by the lapel. The diary had been left open as though begging to be read. No doubt he'd done it to bug her.
"Are you trying to pick a fight?! Keeping an observation diary about me while only writing about my lack of bust! Not only were you grinning too much in there, but there's also these creepy poems in between entries. Not to mention that tortoise shell. You mean that was all a lie?!"
"Ahahah. What was it? You finally gave up after trying it for a week?" he laughed unconcernedly.
Mireille turned bright red as she remembered that embarrassing incident.
"Idiot. If you keep this up, I really will cut all ties with you! I'm confiscating this!" Mireille grabbed the diary and stalked out of the room. Fred watched her leave then chuckled as he pulled out his real diary from inside his jacket.
"You still have a lot to learn, Mireille. That one's a fake. You're so incredibly cute when you're angry. That's my little sister for you."
"She really will cut ties with you."
Richard looked at him exasperated from where he'd been watching to one side. They'd made a bet over how she would react, and as he'd been directed, he sat Mireille down in front of the diary that had been left open on the table, but he was feeling guilty about it now. Unlike Fred and the crown prince, he didn't particularly care for these sorts of games.
On that point, Fred was very accustomed to these sorts of tricks going so far as to prepare a fake diary, and filling it with entries as he looked forward to seeing his sister's reaction.
"I haven't been able to spend much time with Mireille lately, so I'm feeling deprived. Having her get angry with me is one of my greatest pleasures......" he lamented dissatisfied. He then smiled and pointed at his friend's chest. "Not to mention you have a book just like this one in your inner pocket, too."
"......Because you made me carry it."
"I let you share in my happiness and affection. Since you had fun too, you're just as guilty as me."
"......Never mind that. Would you mind not slipping weird things into the packages of sweets......?" Richard complained as he sighed.
"Ahahah. Sorry."
Fred smiled as he apologised then opened his diary. Unusual geometric designs were drawn throughout the real 'Picture Diary of my Observations of my Younger Sister'.
"Ahh...... She really was so cute today," he murmured fervently and grinned as he began writing down what he'd just observed.
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